The discomfort of unconscious continuity
• Many individuals experience sleep as a simple rest period.
Others feel the approach of sleep as a terrifying retreat from existence.
This fear has nothing to do with insomnia or physical restlessness.
It comes from a deeper space: the idea of becoming unconscious for hours.
• The body must rest, the brain must reorganize, and the immune system must reset.
Still, the conscious self resists surrendering control.
This resistance intensifies when the individual questions what truly happens during sleep.
• The perception of time vanishes during the night.
Sleep eliminates the linear awareness that daytime consciousness provides.
That loss of internal witness frightens certain minds.
The thought “where was I all these hours?” emerges sharply upon waking.
• Some attempt to stay awake not out of stimulation, but to avoid the unknown void.
This produces tension, not between rest and wakefulness, but between being and un-being.
It is not rest that disturbs — it is unawareness.
Self-perception and control during the sleep process
• Consciousness wants to monitor itself.
It wants to observe its continuity.
Sleep denies this privilege for biological purposes.
• The conscious self, when deprived of perception, may feel erased.
Sleep becomes not a pause, but a perceived annihilation.
This is especially true for individuals who strongly identify with inner awareness.
• To combat this, people may introduce light, sound, or physical objects into their sleep environment.
These elements serve as anchors — reminders that existence continues.
Lights and music offer continuity. Dolls or symbolic objects represent the self still being there.
• These strategies do not eliminate fear.
They attempt to create perceived presence during unconsciousness.
The fear is not of sleep itself — the fear is of invisibility of the self.
The role of sleep in human restoration
• Sleep is not passive.
It is active biological reconstruction.
Tissues repair, toxins clear, emotions balance, and memories consolidate.
• Consciousness cannot remain active during these processes.
The brain shifts resources away from external awareness.
Cognitive control interferes with repair.
This necessity fuels the conflict: I want to be aware, but I must stop being aware to heal.
• Biologically, every part of sleep has structure.
The night consists of cycles: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM.
Each cycle performs specific functions.
• Despite this, the individual may still experience distress.
Because restoration without witness feels like death to the conscious ego.
Temporary strategies to minimize perceived disappearance
• Some set alarms throughout the night to break the illusion of prolonged unconsciousness.
This method fragments the night into manageable intervals.
Instead of facing eight hours of darkness, the person faces 90 minutes of reduced awareness.
• The alarm serves not to interrupt sleep violently, but to affirm:
“I still exist. I returned. I remember myself.”
• The person may configure each alarm with distinct characteristics:
soft chimes for intermediate reminders, firm tones for final awakening.
Each serves a role — to reconnect with the continuity of the self.
• These acts are not symptoms of dysfunction.
They are educational manifestations of a deep existential relationship with sleep.
They reveal how identity interacts with biological rhythms.
Philosophical recognition of sleep as partial death
• Many traditional systems saw sleep as a rehearsal for death.
They designed rituals not to fall asleep, but to go to sleep with awareness of return.
• Sleep, from this perspective, is not nothingness.
It is a rhythm of retreat and return.
The fear of sleep equals the fear of unbeing.
• Yet the sleeper is not erased.
The body remains, the brain continues, and identity awaits at the threshold of morning.
Sleep is not departure. It is internal motion without witness.
Educational reflection
• The human mind values continuity.
The inability to observe one’s own being creates profound discomfort.
• This discomfort has educational value.
It teaches that identity is not only what we can see or monitor.
Identity includes what exists in absence of witness.
• To accept sleep is not to give in to void.
It is to understand that not all being must be seen to be real.
This is not poetic — it is neurological, emotional, and human.
Conclusion
• Sleep challenges the belief that perception equals existence.
It forces the conscious self to accept that being continues, even when it is not being observed.
• Strategies such as alarms, symbolic objects, and awareness rituals serve to ease this transition.
They do not eliminate the fear — they educate the self to coexist with the unknown.
• This is not weakness.
This is the human search for wholeness, even in darkness.
And that search deserves recognition, not dismissal.
My Diary - Leonardo Cardillo 