Key Takeaways
Soft summary
- Many people feel slightly annoyed with colleagues without knowing the reason.
- Not having clear words for a feeling does not mean the feeling is fake or silly.
- Simple tools such as pausing, naming any small emotion, and taking care of the body can lower tension at work.
- Learning basic emotional language and a few calm habits can help even very shy or quiet people handle daily office friction.
Story & Details
A small feeling with a big echo
In many offices in late November 2025, there is a quiet kind of tension. It does not look dramatic from the outside. Work goes on. Meetings happen. Messages arrive and are answered.
Inside, though, someone is thinking, “I feel a bit annoyed.” The feeling is not huge. It is not a crisis. It is more like a stone in a shoe. It starts after a short comment in a meeting, or a joke that feels a little sharp, or a simple “good morning” that sounds cold.
When that person tries to explain what is wrong, no clear answer appears. The mind says, “I do not know.” The body only feels tight shoulders, a faster heartbeat, or a wish to avoid eye contact at the coffee machine.
Psychologists say this is normal. It is common to feel something without knowing exactly what it is. Sometimes emotions are mixed. Sometimes a person never learned the words for what they feel. Sometimes the brain decides that clear feelings are unsafe and turns the volume down instead of up. [1][2][3][10]
Why the feeling is hard to name
At work, this confusion can be extra strong. Colleagues are not friends, and not strangers. They are something in between. Many people want to look calm and professional. So they ignore early signs of discomfort.
Research on emotional triggers at work shows that small moments—a tone of voice, a rushed message, a delay in reply—can wake up old stories in the mind. A neutral remark can suddenly sound like criticism. A simple silence can feel like rejection. The brain connects today’s office with yesterday’s worries. [3][5][6][9]
If the person also has a limited emotional vocabulary, it becomes even harder. Instead of “I feel disappointed and a bit lonely,” there is only “I feel bad.” This single word is too small for the real experience, so it does not bring relief.
Structure as a way to cope
One way people try to deal with this kind of fog is by creating structure.
Some write short notes after work: who said what, when the mood changed, what the body felt. Others draw simple maps of a workday on paper. They mark places where the feeling of “a little annoyed” starts to rise, like red dots on a plan of the office. For some, lists and frameworks feel safer than messy emotions.
Experts in emotional intelligence say that this kind of gentle, organised reflection can help. The act of slowing down, looking back at the day, and giving names to even tiny feelings turns a vague cloud into something that can be understood. It does not remove all irritation, but it gives the brain a map. [1][5][6][8][11]
A tiny Dutch mini-lesson
For people working in or with the Netherlands, it can even help to learn a few local words.
In Dutch, the word for “colleague” is collega.
A simple way to say “a bit annoyed” is een beetje boos.
These phrases are more than vocabulary. They are tools. Being able to say in a calm voice, “I feel een beetje boos with a collega today,” even in a private note, can make the feeling a little less heavy. It turns a vague pressure into normal human language.
Small, kind steps that help
The good news is that giant changes are not always needed. Many guides on workplace emotions share the same basic ideas:
- Take a short pause when annoyance shows up. Notice breathing and feet on the floor.
- Try to name even one simple word for the feeling, such as “tense”, “sad”, “tired”, or “angry”.
- Ask a basic question: “What do I need right now?” It might be water, a short walk, or five quiet minutes.
- If the feeling repeats often with the same colleague, choose a calm moment to talk, or ask for advice from a trusted person at work. [1][3][5][6][7][8][9][11]
None of these steps turn an office into a perfect place. But over time, they help the person who feels “a little annoyed and not sure why” move from confusion to gentle clarity.
Conclusions
A soft landing
A mild, nameless irritation with colleagues is not a sign of weakness. It is a normal part of modern work life. Many people feel it, especially in busy months like November, when energy is low and pressure is high.
What matters is not to push the feeling away as “nothing” or “stupid”. Even a tiny emotion carries information. With simple words, small pauses, and a bit of curiosity, it becomes easier to see what is really going on and to choose kinder next steps.
When the office feels tense and the reason is unclear, one small act of emotional honesty—at least with oneself—is often the best starting point for change.
Selected References
[1] Ahead. “Emotional Self-Awareness at Work: 5 Strategies to Handle Difficult Colleagues.”
https://ahead-app.com/blog/mindfulness/emotional-self-awareness-at-work-5-strategies-to-handle-difficult-colleagues
[2] Psychology Today. “6 Reasons Why You May Not Know What You’re Feeling.”
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201702/6-reasons-why-you-may-not-know-what-youre-feeling
[3] Psychology Today. “5 Steps to Navigate Emotional Triggers at Work.”
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/a-new-look-at-womens-leadership/202411/navigating-emotional-triggers-at-work
[4] TED (YouTube). Susan David – “The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDQ1Mi5I4rg
[5] Workplaces Strategies for Mental Health. “Emotional Triggers.”
https://www.workplacestrategiesformentalhealth.com/resources/emotional-triggers
[6] Harvard Business Publishing. “From Emotional Triggers to Values-Based Leadership: A Practical Framework.”
https://www.harvardbusiness.org/insight/from-emotional-triggers-to-values-based-leadership-a-practical-framework/
[7] Psychology Today. “The Key Skill We Rarely Learn: How to Feel Your Feelings.”
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/harnessing-principles-of-change/202010/the-key-skill-we-rarely-learn-how-to-feel-your-feelings
[8] Psychology Today. “Alexithymia: Do You Know What You Feel?”
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-with-emotional-intensity/202102/alexithymia-do-you-know-what-you-feel
[9] Ahead. “5 Workplace Emotional Triggers and How to Build Emotional Resilience in the Workplace.”
https://ahead-app.com/blog/eq-at-work/5-workplace-emotional-triggers-and-how-to-build-emotional-resilience-in-the-workplace
[10] Psychology Today. “Why It’s Vital to Identify, Process, and Express Your Emotions.”
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindfulness-insights/202312/why-its-vital-to-identify-process-and-express-your-emotions
[11] Pollack Peacebuilding. “Resolve Workplace Conflict with Emotional Intelligence.”
https://pollackpeacebuilding.com/blog/emotional-intelligence-workplace/
Appendix
Alexithymia
Alexithymia is a term for a strong and lasting difficulty in noticing, naming, and describing emotions, even when those emotions are present.
Dutch mini-lesson
The Dutch words collega and een beetje boos are simple phrases for “colleague” and “a bit angry”, and they show how basic foreign words can make emotional talk feel more concrete and less scary.
Emotional agility
Emotional agility is the skill of facing thoughts and feelings with curiosity and courage, instead of denying them or letting them fully control behaviour.
Emotional trigger
An emotional trigger is a cue, such as a word, gesture, tone, or situation, that quickly brings up a strong emotional reaction, often based on past experiences.
Emotional vocabulary
Emotional vocabulary is the set of words a person uses to describe feelings, and a richer set of words can make it easier to understand and handle inner states.
Mild annoyance
Mild annoyance is a low-level feeling of irritation or discomfort that does not stop daily life but can build up and affect mood and relationships over time.
Workplace emotional self-awareness
Workplace emotional self-awareness is the ability at work to notice inner signals, give them simple names, and use that information to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting on impulse.
My Diary - Leonardo Cardillo 