Waiting, Checking, and the Quiet Choice to Pause
Key Takeaways
Breathing
- This article is about the urge to check for a car while waiting for someone, and how that urge can grow into stress.
- A single planned check can feel steadier than checking again and again.
- One short message can bring calm without sounding pushy.
- A few slow breaths can soften the edge of the wait.
Story & Details
Breathing
On December 18, 2025, a simple moment carried a lot of weight: waiting for someone to arrive, with the clock fixed at 10:12 local time, 10:12 Dutch time. The question was small but sharp. Should the eyes keep searching for the car, or should the mind be left alone?
The pull to look can feel like help. It feels like control. But it can also act like a hook. Each glance brings a brief lift, then the same doubt returns, often stronger. The street becomes a screen. The minutes become loud.
So the calmer move was not another glance, but a cleaner plan. One check at a chosen moment. Not every minute. And in the space before that moment, something else to hold: a song, a short read, or a tiny task that fits the pocket of time. Three quick priorities for the day. Two small replies to clear the phone. A quick look at what comes next—route, ticket, or the one item that must not be forgotten.
There was also room for a simple line that does not start a fight and does not beg. Just a clear signal of presence, and a request for a clear signal back:
“I’m here. Let me know when you’re close.”
Or, if the wait is stretching:
“Are you going to be long?”
No drama. No extra words. Just enough to turn guessing into knowing.
In the end, the choice leaned toward staying put, not stepping out, not scanning, and not feeding the loop—especially when the car would be easy to notice without chasing it.
A short Dutch mini-lesson can support the same calm, because it gives ready words for a real moment.
Ik ben hier.
This is used to say: “I am here.”
Word-by-word: Ik = I. ben = am. hier = here.
Tone: normal and direct. Works with friends, colleagues, and services.
Laat me weten wanneer je eraan komt.
This is used to say: “Let me know when you are about to arrive.”
Word-by-word: Laat = let. me = me. weten = know. wanneer = when. je = you. eraan = to it / there. komt = come.
Tone: polite and natural. A close variant is: Laat me weten wanneer je er bent.
And when the mind still runs ahead, breathing can be a small anchor. Four steady breaths. In for four seconds. Out for six seconds. Nothing forced. Just a slower rhythm, long enough to make the body feel the present again.
Conclusions
Breathing
Waiting ends, but the way it is held matters. A single check, one clear message, and a few slow breaths can turn a tense pause into a softer one. The street stays the same. The body does not have to.
Selected References
Breathing
[1] https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/guides-tools-and-activities/breathing-exercises-for-stress/
[2] https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/ease-anxiety-and-stress-take-a-belly-breather-201904261861
[3] https://www.heart.org/en/healthy-living/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/breathing-brings-benefits-infographic
[4] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10741869/
[5] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfDTp2GogaQ
Appendix
Breathing
Anxiety loop: A repeating pattern where a small worry leads to checking, the checking brings brief relief, and the worry returns stronger.
Belly breathing: Breathing that lets the belly move more than the chest, often used to support a calmer body state.
Checkpoint: One planned moment to look or ask, chosen in advance to avoid constant checking.
Dutch time: The time shown in the Netherlands.
Mindful breathing: A slow, simple focus on the breath, used to steady attention and soften stress.
My Diary - Leonardo Cardillo 