Key Takeaways
A message that lands hard
In December 2025, a widely shared reflection about death paints a blunt scene: a body is prepared, a home is emptied, a job is filled, and the world keeps moving.
What holds up under science
Many social details are common and believable, but fixed timelines for grief do not match modern grief research.
Where science stops
Claims about a guaranteed life after death and “spiritual wealth” belong to faith and philosophy, while science focuses on what can be observed and measured.
Story & Details
The story the message tells
The reflection’s core is simple and sharp. After death, family members do what they can. Clothes are removed. The body is washed and dressed. A person is taken from his home to a final destination. People come to a funeral, sometimes changing plans to be there. Belongings move on, too: keys, tools, books, music, shoes, clothes. Items that once felt private become gifts, sales, or trash.
The message also insists the wider world will not pause. The economy continues. A workplace replaces a role. Talk continues as well. A person may be praised, judged, questioned, or criticized for small and big choices. Close friends may cry, then laugh again. Casual friends may forget sooner. Pets adjust to a new owner. Photos stay visible for a while, then disappear into a drawer. Someone else sits on the same couch and eats at the same table.
It ends with a spiritual turn. The value of status, comfort, titles, trophies, and money is described as temporary. What remains, it says, is the inner life. It closes by attributing a line to Francis of Assisi: the only thing taken from this world is what was given away.
What grief research actually says
Modern grief science is careful with timelines. Grief can be intense, and it can last. But it does not follow one neat countdown. A well-known framework, the Dual Process Model, describes grief as movement between two kinds of coping. At some moments, a person faces the loss. At other moments, he turns toward daily tasks and rebuilding life. This back-and-forth is normal, and it can repeat for a long time. That rhythm fits real life better than a fixed schedule. The model is described in detail by Stroebe and Schut in a classic paper and later work. [1]
When grief becomes a clinical concern
Some people develop a severe, long-lasting pattern that seriously disrupts daily life. Clinical systems name this pattern and set time thresholds to help doctors and therapists speak the same language.
In the International Classification of Diseases, Eleventh Revision (ICD-11), prolonged grief disorder includes persistent longing or preoccupation and intense emotional pain that continues for at least six months after the loss, in a way that goes beyond cultural expectations and harms functioning. [2]
In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-5-TR), the time requirement for adults is at least twelve months after the death, and at least six months for children and adolescents. The American Psychiatric Association presents the DSM-5-TR framing and time thresholds in a patient-facing overview. [3] A detailed side-by-side comparison of ICD-11 and DSM-5-TR criteria is also available in an open-access review. [4]
Near-death experiences and the brain
The message’s “new reality” after death cannot be tested in the same way as grief symptoms. Still, science does study reports that cluster around close calls.
A near-death experience (NDE) is a reported set of vivid perceptions and feelings sometimes described by survivors of events like cardiac arrest. AWAreness during REsuscitation (AWARE) is a prospective program that investigated experiences reported after resuscitation, and AWAreness during REsuscitation – II (AWARE-II) continued that work across multiple centers. Both are indexed in PubMed. [5] [6]
At the same time, neuroscience also studies what happens in the brain near death. A paper in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences reported surges in gamma-range coupling and connectivity in the dying human brain in a small set of patients, discussing how global hypoxia may stimulate certain patterns of activity. This kind of work can inform biological hypotheses, but it does not settle metaphysical claims. [7]
A note on a famous attribution
The closing line attributed to Francis of Assisi fits his public image, yet famous attributions often drift over time. A related and very widely known text, the “Peace Prayer” often linked to him, is widely traced to a French publication in nineteen twelve in France (Europe), rather than to his writings. Franciscan Media summarizes this history and the spread of the prayer during the First World War. [8]
A tiny Dutch mini-lesson
Dutch can be learned in small, useful steps.
“Het spijt me.”
Simple meaning: an apology used in everyday life.
Word-by-word sense: “It regrets me.”
“Dank u wel.”
Simple meaning: a polite “thank you.”
Word-by-word sense: “Thanks you well.”
Conclusions
The reflection resonates because it does two things at once. It describes how practical life continues after a death, and it asks what really counts before that day comes. Research supports the idea that routines return and roles shift, but it does not support fixed, one-size grief timelines. Science can also study near-death reports and brain activity near death, yet it cannot confirm a promised “new reality.” What remains is a clear split: social patterns can be observed, grief can be studied with care, and spiritual meaning stays in the realm of belief and personal philosophy.
Selected References
[1] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10848151/
[2] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7427562/
[3] https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/prolonged-grief-disorder
[4] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10291380/
[5] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25301715/
[6] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37423492/
[7] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10175832/
[8] https://www.franciscanmedia.org/ask-a-franciscan/origin-of-saint-francis-peace-prayer/
[9] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orPB4EvjwQs
Appendix
Afterlife: The idea that personal existence continues after bodily death; it is discussed in religion and philosophy and is not directly testable by standard experiments.
AWARE: AWAreness during REsuscitation, a prospective research program studying reported awareness and experiences around resuscitation from cardiac arrest.
AWARE-II: AWAreness during REsuscitation – II, a multi-center continuation that examined markers and reports of consciousness and awareness during cardiac arrest resuscitation.
Dual Process Model: A grief framework describing healthy coping as movement between loss-focused moments and restoration-focused moments, rather than a single straight path.
DSM-5-TR: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision, a clinical classification published by the American Psychiatric Association.
Gamma oscillations: Fast brain activity patterns often measured with electroencephalography; some studies report changes in gamma activity during severe illness and near death.
Grief: A natural response to losing someone close, often involving sadness, yearning, changes in sleep or appetite, and shifts in daily functioning.
ICD-11: International Classification of Diseases, Eleventh Revision, a global health classification system published by the World Health Organization.
Near-death experience: A reported cluster of vivid perceptions, emotions, and memories sometimes described after a close brush with death, such as cardiac arrest.
Prolonged grief disorder: A clinical term for intense, persistent grief that lasts longer than expected within cultural norms and significantly impairs daily functioning.
Text Revision: A formal update to a published edition of a manual or standard, keeping the main edition number while revising content and wording.
My Diary - Leonardo Cardillo 