Breathing
A longer out-breath can be the first quiet signal that the night is allowed to soften.
Key Takeaways
Breathing
Slow breathing with a longer exhale can shift the body from alert to calmer, even when thoughts stay loud.
The subject in plain words
This piece is about insomnia that starts in the mind: a tired body that cannot follow because fear and fast thinking keep the brain on duty.
The core idea
A short “parking note” can give worries a place to land, so sleep has room to arrive.
Steady supports
A cooler, darker room, fewer late screens, gentle muscle release, and a simple rule about leaving the bed when frustration grows can make nights feel less like a fight.
Story & Details
The night that feels like fear, then time, then “no”
By Monday, January Five, Two Thousand Twenty-Six, the pattern feels familiar: sleepiness exists, but sleep does not arrive. The mind runs ahead. Fear rises. Time feels short, then suddenly there is “no time,” and the word “life” can sound heavy in the dark. Even a small, flat “no” can feel like the whole room.
This is not weakness. It is a nervous system that is trying to protect, even when the body is safe enough to rest.
Breathing
Breathing is not magic, but it is direct. A long exhale can nudge the body toward its calming mode. One simple rhythm is four seconds in, then six to eight seconds out, repeated until the jaw loosens and the shoulders drop. Another is four seconds in and eight seconds out, with the long exhale doing the heavier work.
Some nights need an even quicker “reset.” A double inhale through the nose, followed by a slow, easy exhale, can feel like a small internal sigh. It can be repeated a few times, then allowed to fade into a normal, slower breath.
The bright edge of late stimulation
A racing mind often has helpers, even when they look harmless in the afternoon. Late caffeine, strong tea, energy drinks, nicotine, alcohol, or a lot of sugar can keep attention sharp at the worst time. Water can support comfort, but the bigger change comes from lowering the body’s alert signal.
Food and movement matter too. Heavy meals close to bedtime can add discomfort. Gentle daytime movement can lower the nighttime buzz. Morning light can help set the body clock, so sleep shows up with less struggle later.
The room that teaches the brain what night means
Sleep often comes more easily in a space that is quiet, dark, and cool. Screens work against that, because bright light can keep the brain in “day mode.” A calm book, soft music, or a quiet audio track can feel safer than scrolling. The goal is not perfect habits. The goal is to stop feeding the mind new sparks at the exact moment it needs fewer.
The body can lead the mind back
Progressive muscle relaxation uses a clean contrast: tense, then release. Hands clench and let go. Forearms tighten and soften. Shoulders rise and drop. The face scrunches and smooths. The belly firms and loosens. The legs press and melt. The point is not strength. The point is noticing the moment the body truly lets go, and letting that feeling spread.
When restlessness stays sharp, grounding can help the mind return to the room. A simple sensory scan can move attention away from racing thoughts: noticing a few things that can be seen, a few sounds, a few body sensations, and one slow breath that ends in a longer exhale.
The parking note that stops the chase
A racing mind often needs a place to put its load. A “parking note” does that without becoming a life plan. It is short and specific, often just three lines. One line holds what is circling. One line names a single task for tomorrow. One line gives permission to leave the rest for tomorrow. The closing idea is simple: this can wait; rest can begin even while thoughts still speak.
Two quick checks can guide the choice of tools. Is the restlessness mainly in the mind or mainly in the body. Did anything stimulating show up late in the day. When the answer is “mind” and “yes,” the parking note is often the first door worth trying.
When the bed becomes a battleground
Forcing sleep usually backfires. A gentle rule helps: if wakefulness stretches on, it can be better to leave the bed for a while, keep the light low, and do something quiet and dull. The return to bed happens when sleepiness returns, not when frustration peaks. This is part of “stimulus control,” a core idea inside cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia, which aims to rebuild the link between bed and sleep.
Safety when the night feels too heavy
If thoughts of self-harm appear, or safety feels at risk, urgent help matters. In Mexico (North America), emergency services can be reached at 911. For emotional support, Life Line can be reached at 800 911 2000, SAPTEL at 55 5259 8121, and the Citizen Council emotional support line and WhatsApp can be reached at 55 5533 5533. Reaching a trusted person can also help the night become less dangerous.
A tiny Dutch lesson
Dutch phrases can be short and practical. The examples below keep the original Dutch, with a plain meaning first, then a word-by-word breakdown, then tone and a natural variant.
Ik ben moe.
Plain meaning: “I am tired.”
Word-by-word: Ik = I; ben = am; moe = tired.
Tone: everyday, neutral.
Variant: Ik ben heel moe.
Ik kan niet slapen.
Plain meaning: “I cannot sleep.”
Word-by-word: Ik = I; kan = can; niet = not; slapen = sleep.
Tone: direct, common, not rude.
Variant: Ik kan niet goed slapen.
Ik ben onrustig.
Plain meaning: “I am restless.”
Word-by-word: Ik = I; ben = am; onrustig = restless.
Tone: neutral, useful when the mind feels unsettled.
Variant: Ik voel me onrustig.
Conclusions
Breathing
A sleepless night can start with fear and a sense that time is running out. The most helpful moves are often plain: dim the room, lower the screen glow, lengthen the exhale, and give worries a page where they can sit. When thoughts are “parked,” the body has a better chance to do what it already wanted to do.
Selected References
Breathing
[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqONk48l5vY
[2] https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/mental-wellbeing-tips/how-to-fall-asleep-faster-and-sleep-better/
[3] https://www.health.harvard.edu/heart-health/breathing-exercises-to-lower-your-blood-pressure
[4] https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/relaxation-technique/art-20045368
[5] https://healingaftersurgery.mayo.edu/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Progressive-Muscle-Relaxation.pdf
[6] https://www.nhsfife.org/media/dm4dmgc0/cognitive-restructuring-stimulus-control.pdf
[7] https://royalpapworth.nhs.uk/download_file/6996/305
[8] https://www.pctierra.unam.mx/anterior/uploads/ckeditor/attachments/38/DIRECTORIOFINALPDF.pdf
[9] https://www.consejociudadanomx.org/asi-te-ayudamos/contencion-emocional
[10] https://mexicocity.cdmx.gob.mx/e/emergency/
Appendix
Anxiety is a state of worry and alertness that can keep the brain scanning for problems, even when the body is safe in bed.
Breathing is the act of moving air in and out; slower breathing and a longer exhale can support a calmer body state.
Caffeine is a stimulant found in coffee, many teas, and energy drinks; it can raise alertness and make it harder to fall asleep when taken late.
Circadian rhythm is the body’s daily timing system that helps set sleep and wake patterns, influenced strongly by light and routine.
Cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) is a structured approach that targets the thoughts and habits that keep insomnia going, often using sleep scheduling and stimulus control.
Double inhale sigh is a quick breathing pattern with two inhales through the nose followed by a slow exhale, often used to reduce the feeling of acute stress.
Exhalation is breathing out; lengthening the out-breath can support the body’s calming response.
Grounding is a way to bring attention back to the present moment using the senses and the body, especially when thoughts feel overwhelming.
Homeostatic sleep drive is the pressure to sleep that builds the longer a person stays awake, helping sleep arrive when the timing is right.
Insomnia is ongoing difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or getting restful sleep, even when there is enough chance to sleep.
Nicotine is a stimulant found in tobacco products; it can increase alertness and make sleep harder.
Progressive muscle relaxation is a method of tensing and releasing muscle groups to reduce physical tension and make relaxation easier to feel.
Sleep hygiene is the set of everyday habits and bedroom conditions that support sleep, such as a steady routine, a cool dark room, and fewer late stimulants.
Stimulus control is a way of rebuilding the link between bed and sleep by keeping the bed for sleep and leaving the bed when wakefulness drags on.
Vagus nerve is a major nerve linked to the body’s calming system; slow breathing and a longer exhale can support its calming effects.
WhatsApp is a messaging service that can be used for text-based support when a service offers help through messages.
My Diary - Leonardo Cardillo 